Yehh bra'

Ok, so its the 30th December, which means were off back south tomorrow, and its also new years eve. Im well excited for the party im going to because its set to be a good night. Its currently 7.05 in the morning, and ive been awake since about 6.30. Im absolutely wrecked with tiredness, but i just cant fall back asleep. I thought id get something written down so im being productive rather than just lying there thinking, and ultimately over-thinking. I woke up to the sound of my granddad, and the puppy. I can only assume hed closed a door between him and the pup (Charlie) because Charlie was crying out. Hes really taken a shine to the new dog, even though it is a tad gay.. Hes already gone out for a walk with it today, which to me is insane? Im the only one up in the house at the moment, and was told last night i needed to get up early as were going to hull. I guess my body took that a bit too literal. Yesterday i bought a new coat, a scarf and some jeans, which i was all quite happy with, and in hull today apparently theres loads more shops, ive never been, but i intend to spend more money :D
Yesterday me and chris walked in to town, or as we call it ‘shitlington’, conjured from its real name of Bridlington, but in all fairness, its nickname is a more worth title. I decided id wear a checked shirt, mandigan and jeans, with converses, which was a mistake. It would seem this really isn’t the place for ‘normal’ people, as everyone is a raging pikey. Of course i knew that before, but not to the extent of being shouted at several times in the street by some dirty fucking gypos, and just waiting to be assaulted.. May i please get a LOL. All considering, these people probably have the IQ of a rabid, aids infested squirrel with severe retardation and no limbs. (the limbs bit was just to add to effect, i think it creates a good visual one of them too..)
In the evening, me, chris, my dad, two of my uncles and one of my cousins went down the snooker hall, spending about 5 hours there in total, bearing in mind this was 5 hours of my being tremendously and depressingly shit, and the poor soul who had me on their team trying to make up for my mistakes on the table.. :L
Got back quite late last night, and when i got in bed and settled down i konked out within a few minutes. It was a pretty deep sleep, which is probably why im up so early and here now. When i woke up i seemed to just burden my mind with a million thoughts and then it couldn’t rest. I should probably explain now, that im the last person youd see up at this time, my granddad started shouting bloody hell and raving because i was up before 11 yesterday.. If he saw i was up now hed probably profusely swear until about 9 o clock when were meant to be leaving for hull. Talk of the devil, hes just got back with Charlie. So yeh, im really beginning to feel the tiredness at its best now, which means im going to be really grumpy today, i can tell. (Just to clarify, i get grumpy when all i want to do is sleep, and i cant, when people irritate me, some without realising, and it all amplifies). Im not just a shitty bastard with everyone, i can actually be really nice.. So ive been told anyway (:
Well im going to go now, il probably get a shower, and upload this a little bit later when i can get the internet thing from the room chris is asleep in, because im nice and don’t think its fair to wake someone this early. Hell knows he wouldn’t do the same for me, but i guess im balancing out the hell thats going to rain later if i get pissed off with something good to start the (FUCKING EARLY) day.
Have a good day, and if i don’t blog tomorrow, a good new years.
Thanks for reading (:
One thing before i go though.. I do officially LOVE this man:

Hes one sexy mother fucker.
x

THE MOTIVATION FOR ME, IS THEM TELLING ME WHAT I COULD NOT BE - OH WELL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc3DPvbmJTo

Happy happy happy

Last night we went to my uncles for a few 'bevvys' and some fun. Before we left i had a playfight with my dad, which consisted of me dump tackling him on to the sofa and layin in to his sides, and he only got two shots off. I was well proud lol.. The ice was really bad still, so walking over to his house from my nans was mayhem, and probably took at least ten minutes longer than it shouldve done, considering we didnt even walk a mile.. At his house we all sat about and chatted, and i beat them all on mario party which was pretty fun. His dog has a toy which it humps, and numerous occasions did so with my uncle shouting 'go on son, give it to him!! You know he wants it!' < LOL.
My uncle also has a scar which makes him look like a mafia don, which he got when he was younger when a sled hit him in the face during winter.. Hes pretty cool. After that we played a bit of band hero, and me and chris schooled them on it, me schooling someone is pretty epic in my books, considering im not that great. I also spent a lot of my time updating charlie on my eventful life (:
I had a better nights sleep, and eventually woke up at nearly 12, walked past my grandad in to the kitchen and got 'bloody hell, well, at least its before 12 for once!'.
I was fighting with chris and dad again earlier, and we managed to get him down, then i got pinned to the floor, it was all a bit messy, eventually he went to hit chris and ended up smacking me in the face. He bopped me right on the nose, and if you watch scrubs youl know what i mean when i got 'the kelso squeak' :L
It fecking hurt though.. I had a face like a srunched up ballbag for ages. My nan and grandad got a new dog, and my uncle brought his round to meet it. Turns out my nans one is gay, as it spent pretty much all its time on a mission to 'get it in' brian (my uncles dog).
My cousin came down from scarborough, and asked me and chris to come to the pub cos shes staying here tonight. We went and had a few games of pool, but the best bit of the night for me was not getting id'ed for drinks! I was well pleased with it lol. Before she came round me and chris had another fight with dad, but this time locked him off competely, pinned his arms and legs, and took a photo. But at this point he went proper mad anbd started shouting at us to get off. Stressy bastard, its ok for him to beat us up but he must hate losing..
I realised i really need to get back in the gym, because i feel like all my muscle definition is going, and i dont like it =/
I want it back, and i want the tired feeling, swelling and the aching muscles for days after when you know youve had a good workout. I also REALLY need to do my work for my a levels, and revise, because at this rate im going to fail. Might go and fo some shopping tomorrow to see if i find anything worth buying.
Well its late and ive got nothing to lean on as im still sleeping on the floor, so im going to go talk to someone who i very much like.
(:
x

Last night was fucking freezing.
I slept on the floor in the coldest room in the house because i didnt want to get annoyed by my brother.. Big mistake. I was absolutely frozen, and its times like those i wish i wore pyjamas to bed.. Im starting to think boxers in the freezing cold arent the best option for a good nights sleep.. LOL.
I had a well weird dream aswell, i was going to describe it but i cant remember exactly what happened so i wont bother. I woke up this morning to a full english, courtesy of my nan, and then made up for the cold night with an absolutely boiling shower. It was THAT hot i couldnt see through the steam in the bathroom when i was done. It was lush.
I spent pretty much all today trying to download itunes, which isnt seeming to work o battery power, so im going to wait until i can up the power (:
Also, i managed to forget my ipod lead. Smooth :|
Im so bored right now, theres absolutely nothing to do, so were watching inbetweeners. Im bored now, so byee
x

Heres the photos from yesterday i wanted to add..

<< The ice on the path

<< The extent to which the ice covered the paths..

<< The snow in the fields on the way up

So i got on the internet.. And wrote loads

Id already written, not expecting to be on here, so here is what i put:
I decided to write a blog while i was away, a) because it would give me something to do when there was nothing, b) because when im bored and alone i have some of my most intriguing thoughts, and c) because if i dont write them down im a dopey bastard and forget them.
Today me, my dad and brother left for brid, to go and see our grandparents and otherfamily, we set off much later than anticipated, and i was feeling somewhat disappointed, which leads me on to my big thought of today.. It took us about 4 and a half hours, which was quite good considering the conditions. I spent most of the time laid across the back seats sleeping, because when i sat up my ass went dead, and sometimes my legs. It was pretty annoying.. As we got further north and crossed further in to 'the border' i started to see more and more snow/ice, which was quite cool, and i took a picture, which i would have on display, but im on the wrong laptop.
Then, when we rolled in to brid town there was ice ALL over the paths. It completely covered it and was epically hard to walk on. We had to carry loads of bags and i was slipping all over the place. Oh, and the worst thing is that i have to share a room with my brother. Last time we were up here, he kept me awakeuntil early hours singing, and poking me, then woke me up the next morning singing and poking me. Irritating git.. Imagine waking up to 'ive got a feeling, that tonights gonna be a good night' out of tone, when all you want to do is go back to sleep. It drove me THAT insane, i voluntarily slept on the floor with just a quilt and pillow in a seperate room to get away from it. (I had a picture of the ice here, but again, wrong laptop).
So while i was in the car, and i was lying down with my eyes shut, calm music and that oh so disapointed feeling of being away for a week, and not being able to talk to people, i realised something about people as a general. Its amazing how no matter how much we avoid amitting it, we become reliant on one person all our lives, though that person may change, be someone we love, a friend, or someone we look for more than a friendship in; its not something we can put aside. Our feelings seem to compel us towards this one person. The way we feel when we are pulled away from them isnt so apparent if you dont look for it, but if you think about what ive said and compare it to someone youre close to, be it for a while, or only just beginning, youl know what i mean.
When you know youre not going to be able to talk to them, youre faced with boredom, something you could normally kill by talking aimlessly to them, having a joke and feeling happy to do so. I find that no matter how long ive known this person in my life, and yes, it changes, i always find i miss them. Its not that i cant live without them, but its the fact i like talking to them, i choose to talk to them because i like their character, i enjoy their company, and their convrsation, and they make my life that little bit better.
That seems like a dead end point, but if you really think about things they become so clear, you can pick every peice apart like the mechanics of a clock, and tell why we need each piece, what it does, to what effect, and how it helps us function. As human beings we need these people in our lives to help us funtion, its the base of love, being able to feel like this toward other people. And no, i dont mean being 'in love', its not necessarily about relationships, of course it can develop, butonly with certain people. I mean the love we have for our family, and for our friends.
{Bless my nan, we just had a HYOWGE meal for dinner. If you ever eat up here, make sure you bring/wear stretchy pants, youl need them!! Im absolutely stuffed. Basically, to explain it, two types of meat, two types of potato, 5 or 6 types of beg, and a stock gravy, all in excess. Im at the point where im so full, i feel sick, every time i hiccup i go to puke, every timei move i get cramps. But it is SOOO satisfying when you know youve eaten well. Hahaha. Her viewpoint is, 'if youre going to eat, eat well'}
..But yeh, so i tend to go in to deep thought, for no real reason when i have excess time on my hands, and have someone to think about. Im going to leave it there, cos ive written a hell of a lot, and youre probably bored of reading.
x

(:

Its now friday night, christmas day.
The meal today was oh so awkward, when we came home we opened all the presents, and my gifts consisted of some dvds, money and 10 hours driving intuition. They were some really nice gifts, i just hope i get my fecking provisional soon, before i literally go insane. Im off to work in a bit (i know, its christmas day..), then coming home, lazing around for a bit and going to sleep.
What im leading on to say, is that for all you people that are stupid enough to read this, (although it is rather flattering that you take an interest in my life), im off up north tomorrow for the week, and this will most probably be my last blog of 2009!!!!
I hope you all have a fucking GREAT new years eve, no doubt i will get crunk as a skunk, and il write you all up in the new year.
2010, new year, new start. Im going to put all my mistakes behind me, complete this 'better' person im trying to be, and start some new memories that i can enjoy.
Much love to you all, and have a great time partying in to the 1st of january!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks for reading

It is infact christmas day

Im not particularly feeling it. Im knackered.
I spent last night wrapping presents and talking until late, which was nice (:
Then when i decided to go to bed i ended up sitting on the landing with my mum talking for ages, because my dad had gone home, because he felt awkward being here =/
Its such a shit situation, i didnt know what to do.
So im not really feeling christmas this year i guess, i got up about 9, got a few nice things in my stockingy thing, but havent opened any presents yet. My brother was awoken to me jumping on his bed shouting 'itsss christmasssssss', and then he punched me in the face.. Ow. Lol. Made me laugh though, so i started hugging him going ahhhhh its christmasss. Then my mum came in and joined the fun, so did my dog, but he wasnt allowed on the bed bless him :L
Its been a bit crazy. Oh, and i have this fucking cool blanket with arm holes, its sooooo soft and comfy and warm. Im going to find you a picture:
Its like that. But its a beige colour. Its so nice lol, its the small things.. :D
I just had some rice krispies, dayamn. Ive been getting proper hungry lately, like to the extent i feel sick and nearly throw up.. Theres a nice image for your christmas meal ;)
Have a good one
x

Saying the wrong thing..

..Can be REALLY, embarassing.
{LOL at the monkey}
x

Im always wanting you (8)

Ok, i made the effort after my revelation, and its kind of paid off, its not something im worrying about anymore.
My room took me a bit over 4 hours, but it does look immaculate if i say so myself, and looks twice the size :P
I slept til about 12 again today, got woken up by my brother though, apparently its funny to knock on someones door for the sole purpose of waking them up. What a shit. I agreed to help my mum get some shopping and stuff.. MISTAKE.
She spent about half an hour in B&Q choosing a shower head, and a set of three baskets. OH MY FUCKING GOD WOMAN! But thats not it, we were heading home, and she decided she wanted to go in asda, spent about 20 minutes in there, she got a scarf hat and gloves, then decided she wanted to go to tesco instead!! What the fuck?! We went to tesco, spent another year in there, and eventually came home. The only thing that kept me sane was texing charlie for a bit and blaring paolo nutini in the car. Pukka.
Now im sat here listening to 'feels like home'
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXP4UqgNg70), bored out my skull, starving hungry, and with a face something like this:
(Its the only one suitable i could find)
Merry fucking christmas
(:
x

Revelation number 3

I spent the entire night until about 2 last night talking to charlie after getting back from sams, and didnt get up until 12 today. After a bit of morning texting in the ole' warm bed. Ive spent the past 3-4 hours cleaning my room, and came across a birthday card, read it and had another revelation.
Ive realised, the reason i cant move on is because i need to stop feeling guilty for the past, what ive done and how ive treated people. If i can get back to ease with the person in concern, and settle things, i may finally be able to get back to being myself? I didnt realise at the time, because of how i was hurting, and the defense i put up, but she was wise, and at the time it may not have made sense, but what she said is true. If im to get over her i need to talk to her, and realise there is nothing there.
Sorry, that was really short and depressive but i thought id share it.
Back to my room.
x

(It looked something like that.. I ran out of walkway)

Its been a while

Sunday night after i blogged, i went round a mates, had a few beers and watched some films with the lads. It was a giggle, and jackson kept winding up his little brother, and making fat comments, which were harsh but hilarious. Then his brother tried to make a joke at me, and said 'oh yeh, your mum was laughing last night', and lined me up to cut him down with 'what, at your tiny penis you gay prick'. Of course i called up a round of high fives, cos the room went silent apart from our laughing.
Later the crazy cat started attacking us, and jackson let out this giant scream when it jumped at him. By this time we were pretty trashed, so i picked up the octopus toy and started whipping mike and dan in turn, and then ultimately breaking it..
(Like this on a string)
Eventually, we ended up heading home at like 3 in the morning, so the next day i was knackered. I went to do some work and just ended up sitting round doing nothing all day, after getting out of bed at like half 12. Then, in the evening me and my brother went out for a drink with my dad.
It turned out to be quite good, we had a chat about stuff, and now i think im going to try and get sponsored by the army for university, and do the 5 years after i take my degree as an officer and sandhurst. Im also keen on the idea of joining the marines, but wel see where it goes i guess. I also heard stories about my grandad and uncles which were pretty funny.
Once i got back from that, i went out again, round mikes, had some more to drink. So in two nights, ive been through a crate of beer, and a quarter of a bottle of jd. During that night mike tried to beat up jackson, so i started laying in to him, punched jackson in the head, then alex started punching all of us and it was a huge brawl. The cat tried to attack me AGAIN, claws out at my legs, fucking crazy thing. Got home about 2, which has made me soooo tired. Even so, i went to town, waved at a complete stranger in west quay, under the impression it was someone completely different, and mustve looked like a right fool, finding out about half an hour later it was someone i didnt even know. Tragic.
I nearly fell asleep on the bus home, im in for about another 45 minutes, and then going out AGAIN, for a mates birthday, so yet more beer and films and whatnot. Should be a good night, but tomorrow il need sleep. Saying that, i agreed to go to the gym with alex, and probably matt, so i wont be able to. I also have to tidy my room. Ah, im going to be destroyed by the end of these holidays. ANDDD, i have a hell of a lot of work and revision to get done. Shit.
Have a good night
x

Yawwwwn.

Work was mega tiring last night, but luckily i got off early cos they didnt need me til finish. I left work about half ten, got home by 11 and didnt do much.
At work salvaged some christmas crackers and party poppers for me and the others :P
After a while i crawled in to bed, and started to fall asleep, but at god knows what time i got a phone call courtesy of charlie and screaming mates. It made me laugh cos they sounded pretty trashed, but after that phone call ended i got another few spaced out by like half an hour i think? Hahaa, it was pretty funny though.
^(Thats not me...)^ ;)
I didnt get to go to american football today cos is was my dads birthday and he came down to see us, so we could spend some time with him. I havent done a lot today either really, but im pretty bored and tired. Only problem being i cant take a nap while hes here cos itd be a bit rude, and id feel harsh. Im absolutely knackered though. Hasnt been the most entertaining of days to be honest. Oh well (:
x

Something Something Something Dark Side

Last night i had some mates round, had a few beers, talked and watched films and shit. It was a good night in all, and we ended up crying in laughter a few times (:
The funniest things seemed to be the most pointless to be honest.. It was a good laugh though. About two this morning my mum came home drunk cos shed been out with her friend, and was banging around. So i got up, and in a complete role reversal told her to be quiet and that it was early hours and to get to bed :L
This morning me matt and alex were chatting, and came to the conclusion that fat lazy guys are really no good for sex.. Why have sex with a chubby? If theyre lazy they wont do any work, so its effort on the girl, and the fatter they are the worse it is to have them on top of you. Hahaha. Take that in mind readers ;)
(Even though theres probably two of you at maximum out of the millions in the world.. But hey ho.)
The only thing i did today was go to lymington with my mum, who took her time leaving. She rushed me out the door and then as soon as we stepped out my auntie and uncle arrived, so we went back in, while they sat and chatted. Then we were leaving again the second time, and she went back in cos she needed the toilet. I was like fucking hell love, are we leaving this house today or what?!
We went to lymington, got some shopping done, and went in the big sweet shop, where.. Wait for it.. I FOUND VANILLA COKE!!! They dont sell it anymore, so it was a full on jizz in the pants moment for me.. Im saving it, its in the fridge because i want to taste it at its chilled best :L
After christmas im going to go over there and stock up on it, now i know where it is.. Dayamnnn. My mum bought me some sweets to much on too, which was good, i got some fruit salad chewit things. Mmm. (:
We went to the car wash on the way home, and it made me laugh watching all these little men round the car washing it while i was sat in it eating.. Hahaa.
Coming over the forest road between beaulieu and dibden i looked in the wing mirror, and there was this epic view of the sky contrast and landscape behind us, i felt compelled to take a picture.. It was pretty cool.
Im off to eat now, then off to work til early hours this morning, and then possibly american football tomorrow morning if im not too tired.. So il catch you tomorrow maybe.
(:
x

Winter is definitely here

Its awful cold out.
I got up quite early again today, went to my old school and watched their christmas revue with some friends, it was ok, i reckon the best act was this person dancing with a weird mask on.. It was pretty cool. Then got a form filled in for my rugby assessment which i really needed to get done, so thats a big weight off my mind. Ive got so much work to do over the holidays, but i really cant be arsed.
After the revue i went down hythe, and got some pizza, my hands were like little ice cubes (:
Oh, and we had more snow today. Im about to watch death race, got nothing to do tonight so i hope someone comes up with something. Mum is going out so if not il be sat in on my todd. Haha what a shit friday night that would be.. I seem to be becoming more and more of a hermit as we get further in to the educational year, and its really not good. Lol, oh well. Ive really not got much else to say, but im trying to watch a film and my mum decided it would be a good idea to hoover, so its on pause, and i thought id write a blog.
Anyhooo, im off
(:
x

Pyeeooowwww

I guess im beginning to feel more comfortable in myself now, im finally beginning to gain the ability of speaking to new people again. Over the past few days, ive started talking a bit more properly with people, and its filled a void.
I still dont know where im at with the whole 'intimate other half' thing, because i really want some fun, without sounding like a whore, but im not entirely sure what to come of it etc, or where to look. I think in general ive found its better to let these things work themselves in to your life, and not try too hard to make it.
Then i think what if what im really looking for is closer to home? Sometimes i feel like im picking up on signs, and sending them off myself, but its all so fucking complicated. Why can it never just be spelled out for me? My insecurities are bad enough without being taunted by my own thoughts and what i expect to happen!
So ive had another revelation, i hate it when this happens, fuck.
Right, so today was pretty decent, only one lesson, and last day of college before the holidays. I ended up stamping down a quality street tin down to a flat, and playing frisbee with jono. It was a good laugh. Then i had a little piss about with esme, and wiping lolly on her face, made me laugh (:
The bus home was a bombardment of back rubs, and it became apparent that its been absolutely ages since i got a full massage, and theyre lush. I now want one, so im going to find myself a masseuse and get one i think.
Ive done shit all since ive been home today, but ive had a couple of really nice chats. Im optimistic for the holidays now, going up north after christmas, and then over january going to go on a massive wage-blower.
I dont really know what else to write about, but one more thing i guess, big shout out to charlie (yehh, i put it) ;)
Yehh, thats about it me thinks (:
Catch ya later
x

Its that time again..

Ok, ive got a fair amount to write now, im currently sat downstairs, its nearly ten at night, but ive had no dinner so i want to eat before i go to sleep.
Last day of college tomorrow, and only one lesson so not too much of a problem. (Y)

Right, well the other night before i intended to write this, i was about to come home from college and got a phone call asking me to babysit, so being the childloving, family enthusiast i am (HA!) i agreed, got home, had some dinner and went. But i couldnt get on the internet while i was out, so i sat about for 4 hours watching tv, and playing with lego (:
Their dog was completely nuts, hes a black lab puppy called max and he jumps up at you and goes mental running round, hes big enough but not fat, so i spent half the night protecting my ballbag incase he jumped into it. After i put ashley (my cousins kid) to bed, i went and watched blade trinity for the gazillionth time, and again, enjoyed it. I was ecking tired this morning, cos i got home well late and didnt fall asleep for ages cos i was fidgety, but despite being tired i had a proper good day today (:
After going to college, me and two mates went to town straight after, and watched a film and stuff and got back at like half 9! We watched 2012, and i thought it was pretty decent. Besides that me and my friend spent most of the time teasing our other friend and bullying her, it was hilarious :')
We also did a bit of shopping, so i got some presents, and realised in january sales i will be spending A LOT of money on clothes, ive found some new shops and i have soooooo much to buy :P
So yeh, just basically had a pretty busy past two days, and i really enjoyed today, guess i needed to get out properly again.
Im feeling a hell of a lot more christmasy too, so i think its time to get the cock tinsel out and do a bit of festive streaking.. ;)
Hahaha, im kidding! That wouldnt be good for anyone, least of all santa and his poor little reindeer :L

Im off to get some munch, so catch ya later..
Thanks for reading, you sexy thang ;)
x
Ohhhh, AND WE HAD SOME SNOW LAST NIGHT!!!!! It was crappy, snow, but thats not the point..

No more fizzy drinks..

Ah, no christmas decorations this christmas.. How boring. Im considering doing what people suggested and decorating my room to be honest, its an option at least. (:
I just got back from the dentist, they said my teeth are great and beautifully cleaned, but i have some acid erosion, and need to cut down on fizzy drinks.
Damnn.

With no:

Equals =

Ok, so thats not me.. But without sugar and caffeine im tired and lazy and sleepy..
Which meeeeaannssss, i need to find something new to drink. Bad times.

After ive had some dinner im off to have my hair done (:
I sound like such a woman, but ive no idea what to have done to it.. Im thinking maybe get it shorter round the back and sides, but keep a fringe or something? I really dont know.. =/
Hmm, oh well. Il pray for the best. Haha.
Last night i was talking to someone, and they sang (wrote) some of the lyrics of athlete - wires, and then i wrote the rest of that bit. But since then ive had it stuck in my head like mad, and i keep randomly singing it.. Its half annoying and half calming having a song stuck in my head, cos its a good song, but i cant get it out my wave of thought or stop myself singing away!
Quote of the day today was "Just cos you want to play with my stick" "Yehh i do actually.."
Kind of fits with the group i joined on facebook of 'turning something completely innocent into a sexual innuendo'. On that note:

Bye for now (:
x

=/

This christmas is going to be shit.
=(

(:

Last night was a blast, thank god for fridays!
We went round a mates and used alterior motives to get 'happy'.. Hahaha
Its was a pretty decent night, and i ended up walking home at one this morning, im sooo tired, but it was epic!
It was amazing, the lighting on the leaves of the tree made it glow with a golden shine, and the stars were really clear in the sky, they lit it up and it was so clear. Then in the background i could hear loads of birds tweeting.
I got home about two (despite it normally being a ten minute walk..) and went to bed once id got a drink, and my head was whirring like mad. It was just really softly spinning round, it felt amazing. Everything was really good until i kept hearing the sound of a baby crying...? =/
It was fucking weird, i opened my eyes and the sound stopped, and then closed them, waited a while and it began again.. It was trippy as fuck.
I woke up this morning with the intention of going to town and getting some more christmas shopping done, but that didnt work out. I ended up staying in all day half asleep, and now ive got to get ready for work.
13 days til christmas, and ive also got a few things in mind for new years resolutions (:
This advert excites me: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/128/320642794_66023bb30e.jpg?v=0
I think it brings out my childhood excitement or something (Y)
Glad its the weekend.
x

Tiredd. (:

"I like to shrink things in the microwave and wear a little green hat, then shout in a pitch that only dogs can hear"
We spent half this morning bullying a girl, it was fecking hilarious, but i do feel a tad mean.. I almost got beaten up i think, it was funny though (:
Oh, christmas coke can was pretty lush, thats the only reason i bought it..
Today was a huge waste of time, the presentation i had to attend was ten minutes long, so bloody stupid going in. Spent most of my day in the lrc, and got a good amount of work done, well, kind of..
We distracted three people around us because my mate was playing monopoly on his phone, and we started having fits of laughter and talking about random stuff, including people we didnt know in the conversation and embarassing them, it was quality. Then the librarian woman came over and told us to be quiet. Hahaaha.
Oh, and then later i called a girl id just met fat :L
I was only joking, and i made sure she knew i didnt mean it.. But it was a bit harsh. Hahahaa, i think i was just in a mean mood today, ive been really excitable (:
{I just went to extreme lengths to annoy someone, spending time and effort just to see the outcome :') beautt.}
Agh, dont you just hate kids that are really lippy? Some kid put on his status 'oh my teachers a sket blah blah' and i was like dude shut up, youre like twelve, give it a rest and fucking learn you douche. What an idiot.
Right, im lost for good thoughts, so im off to cook some bolognese mateee. (Y)
x

RAAAAAWRRR

I fucking hate outspoken people. You say something harsh that offends people, or is out of order and il fucking give you an earful. That girl in my psychology class knows, dont you dare fucking judge people from who they seem to be, give everyone a chance you fucking sketty ugly bitch. Go think about what you say before you say it you shit. Fuck. You.
Oh, and learn some manners.
Got my final piece for art from school today, good job ainsworth found it after he last it or thered be trouble! ;)
Last night my mum stabbed my with her knife at dinner twice, i wound her up and it was pretty funny to be honest.. Ahh good times.
I also watched the documentary on russel brand last night, and found it really interesting, i have a lot of respect for the guy, especially for getting off the drug addiction he used to have. Aswell as being funny he also has a hidden person, that you dont see in his stand up, and hes actually pretty decent..
Enough of my looking in to other people (:
I was eating a cheesestring a while ago, awesomeee ;)
RAVE RAVE RAVE RAVE!! Looking forward to new years bwooiii
=D
x

No more free house!!

My free house is no longer!!! =(
My mum got back from egypt sunday night, so i no longer have it at my demand. Bad timess man. I stayed up to see her and whatnot, thought itd be nice for her, but i ended up falling asleep at like. Whoops.. She woke me up at one in the morning, and sent me to bed, then the next morning i woke up at 10, and i was like shit! I overlsept for college by about two hours, it was mad. Oh, and then i was going to get the lunch bus home, but didnt realise the time because i was stealing glasses and side combing my hair to make me intelligentable ;) (yes i can spell intelligible), so i had to absolutely leg it in the rain so i didnt miss it! I got soaked, and then fell asleep on it.. (:
Oh god, i had a sport test today, which i failed, and got a u. Then after that i got my philosophy back, another u. Agh, it was so demoralising. Ive got some hardcore revision to do for the january exam..
Oh, and apparently im 'special', as this was how i was described in psychology when someone was asked to define extrovert..
"Umm, smiley, and bubbley, and excitable.. Like aiden"
"That makes me sound like a special!"
*The class laugh to themselves*
*Lecturer pipes up* "You are special aiden"
"Yehh.. Thats what my mum told me... =/"

New gay song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c-4z5H43F0
Love itttttttttttt! Its one of those songs, that when i listen to it, after a shit day, and generally feeling tired of getting nowhere in life, i can listen to it and finally feel like smiling.. (:
It sounds stupid complaining, because all it sounds like is a sympathy vote, but i guess i just like to have that one person to rely on for a nice talk, and have memorable moments with.. I hope i find someone soon, because its something you miss when youre neglected of it for too long.
Its getting on in the month now, which means christmas is nearing, still no snow though.. Thatd make me smile, i think its linked to good memories, so it automatically makes me happy and excitable for the prospect of christmas. But, its britain so all were getting is shitty rain, which just so happened to soak through my converses and soak my sock. It made a squelchy sound when i was walking which sounded like the armpit thing people used to do. Kind of a 'pprreep prelppp prrrepp'. Oh i dont know, it was a squelch okay?!!
SKI TRIPPPP!!!! I got more letters through today about the ski trip for our leavers group, its confirmed, and now the final prices are out all weve to do is pay the rest of the money!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Soooooooo excited! Ahh awesomee.

Cant think of anything else, but chow fo now homies

;)

x

Its Getting Nearer Christmas..

Riiight, so i ended my last thing saying about how id bought braces and how the weekend was going to begin with a partyyy.

Well basically, the braces are fecking awesomee! I actually LOVE them, and people complimented them so alls good. After college we had the party, it was a good laugh, i started to get agitated though cos my house was getting wrecked, but after most people left the REAL drinking began. Needless to say, it turned out strange.. We ended up watching elf drunk, and my brother and a bunch of his mates came back. One of our mates konked out on the sofa, and my brother's mate shaved off his eyebrow.. Its was absolutely hilarious, i wet myself. However, apparently he seemed pretty annoyed in the morning, and stormed out the house, so i felt quite bad.. Then i just imagined it again and creased.

Umm, my weekend has been pretty boring really. Hence not having much to write about..

Ive been really tired, and i really should start trying to get more sleep, but 'early nights' just never seem to happen. =/

I worked last night, which was nackering, but i got a full on roast dinner for free!! It was absolutely lush, ahhh, then i had some chocolate torte. Was like a full on meal and getting paid to eat it effectively...

My mum is back from egypt tonight. She rang me this morning and was like crying and stuff cos shes missed us {ELF IS ON AGAIN THIS CHRISTMAS, THE ADVERT IS ON NOW, I LOVE THAT FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "buddy the elf, whats your favourite colour?" hahahahahahaha}

Yeh, so she was crying, and i was just like whaaaaat, i had a ball love.

With chris (brother) being at work, and me having all this free time its felt like i owned the house, and its been a good experience, because i actually started doing loads of housework and stuff.

Its been strange, oh, and tomorrow ive got college. I decided im going to start going back to psychology lessons.. Cant be too hard to stick with it this time, after all, i do want to get in a good uni..

Anyhoo, im not really saying much interesting, so sorry for disappointing you with this shit.

Yehh bwoii, inabitt ;)

x

Random Dreams And Christmas Themes!

(Yes, i did make my title rhyme) ;)

Lately, ive been having some proper random dreams, like EVERY night. And its not just one, its like three or four different ones each night.. Sometimes they merge, and i just end up in another place but in a different scenario.. Its strange, its like, i dont know, sometimes i wonder if they could actually mean something? Is there a reason to me having them? No, probably not..

I dont know what it is lately, but it must be the new schedule ive got in to, whenever my alarm goes off, i fall straight back asleep, then on days i dont need to get up i wake up the time it normally does and cant re-doze!! Its mental..

I went to town today, in the plan of doing a bit of christmas shopping, get the gifts bought and all that. My mum wanted some perfume, so i was going round like a maniac looking for this 'jovan musk' stuff, only to find out they dont do it for women anymore!! I looked like such a fool going in all these different shops asking and it not being there, then getting told by the woman in boots she doesnt think they produce it anymore! :')

Oh, then i went to get a meal deal from boots, and as i went to get a drink me and this lady did that whole 'going the same way' thing trying to get past, and she said really quirkily with a little laugh {off the point.. but i just had a nice ickle phone call with my nan (:} "oh dear, which way do you want to go? Shall we dance?"

I dont think she expected my response with the gesture of putting my arms out when i said "Yehh lets go for it" with a giant grin. Needless to say her daughter (who didnt look much older than me) looked at us with disgust.. Her eyes screamed at us to get a room. It was hilarious. I think its something about the christmas season thats but me in a good mood when im out and about.. I dont know what it is, but it just makes me want to be nice, and have a laugh. On the way out of boots a woman was struggling with a wheelchair so i held the door open, she looked like it made her day, and i just got a great feeling of happiness from it.

I sound like a right sad kid now.. Hahahaa. Oh dear.

ANYWAY, so my day of shopping for other people turned in to me buying a game for my brother, a pair of braces for myself (i had an idea for a new 'outfit' which im'a wear tomorrow), and not a lot else.. Somehow though i managed to spend about £45.. Whoops. Ah well, now im stuck because i have about £100 to buy presents for my mum dad and brother, and also to get something for my dads birthday. I could always borrow some i guess.

Anyhoo, tomorrow is party time! The beginning of the weekend and its going to set off with a boom if all goes to plan. Mum is back on sunday and theres only 3 weeks til christmas.

After christmas i get to go up north and visit the dads side of the family with him, which for once i actually chose to do and im weirdly excited about it.

Spread the joy people ;)

Much love!

x

This Ones A Big'un

Ok, so after making my first yesterday, here is number two, i had a lot to put..

I guess i kind of considered my life and where im going etc, and i found some answers.

So it began last night, i was basically sat about, bored, after skipping psychology class AGAIN. I guess i have no real reason to not go, i just hate my lecturer.. She makes the lesson shit. I guess that was kind of where my revelation started..

I decided to poke through universities, get ahead of myself and consider my options, the usual deal, and realised i was in the shit. Without psychology, and AAB or at least 220 ucas points i cant get in to a good uni, and this is my education, i want to go places..

Basically, i had a panic about this, and went to bed, unsuccessfully to say the least. I lay there for ages worrying, to the extent that my heart started racing and i got a high like when taking back a huge gulp of helium from a balloon.. It was weird, and i couldve sworn it was a mild panick attack. ANYWAY, this is when my whole little 'revelation', so to speak, began.

I realised i need to get my act together, and knuckle down if i really want to get the grades, i also need to grit my teeth and go to lessons.. I also realised, the reason im getting so worked up over stuff like this is because i no longer have that calming influence in my life. I dont have that person who makes me happy, and talks to me when i need it, that i can spend quality time with and enjoy life properly. I also realise, the reason i cant find someone new is because im too afraid to put myself out there. When i decide im attracted to someone, i fail to make the decision to ask them out, and take a chance. I wait for them and hope theyl say something to me. Im a dick i know, because it never happens, noone ever decides to do that. So if some deluded person out there did like me, id never know, even if i liked them back. Whilst im doing this, im getting nowhere in life, or with women, because i dont have the balls to ask them on a date. WHY?! Am i too scared? Am i really that much of a pansie that i cant ask someone to meet up and get to knwo them? Its ridiculous.

So this main point among others kept me awake for hours on end, and eventually i fell asleep. Weird huh.

Today was stupid, in sport, theres only one thing that could possibly be MORE shit than playing badminton, and that is watching people play it while you score. Hmm..

So i went home pretty tired and now have an overwhelming disappointment in myself, which i guess ive had for a while, but its developed. Im failing academically, and now in social areas. Not to be big headed, but ive never had trouble speaking to new girls before, so why have i suddenly grown this disbelief that i can?

Its funny how your day can really turn around though.

After getting home i got a call, asking if i wanted to go and watch some films etc with a mate, which was one of those points where a small gesture makes a great deal of happiness. As i was walking up the hill by my house, it decided to hoy it down with rain, and at the same time 'havent met you yet' by michael buble came on my ipod. It was a fucking beaut of a moment, because the feel good song made me in to one of those gay people smiling in the rain. I was walking along, soaking wet, singing along and bouncing my step with a giant grin on my face.

Tomorrow im skipping my psychology mock to go to town, i think its much needed, and i can get some christmas shopping done. (Y)

So basically, to sum up this past day, ive had a hell of a lot of crazy thoughts, and am not entirely happy with who im becoming. BUT, the amazing trend of a good song saved me from a mental breakdown.

Im sorry if i depressed you!

Here, have a listen (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA

x

Here We Goooo...

Ok, so here we go, first blog.. =/

Ahh! Umm, well il confess first by saying i stole this idea off a crazy girl at college, thought itd be good to get my thoughts down and whatnot for something to look back on.. Oh, when i say crazy i mean in a good way, shes pretty cool (but dont tell her..)

I cam home from college again early, and ended up having a doze on the sofa for the first time in ages! Oh, and my dog makes me laugh when i make his food, he grabs a teddy and spins round and stuff..

Im down on the rota to work christmas day AANNDD new years eve!! Blatantly saying i cant new years eve if theres a party on though.. (:

Oh, and its the first day of december!!! Whacked the ski jacket out for the moment, because its unbelievably cold this year! Theres even talk of snow tomorrow ;). The weather is really pushing the boat out..

So this is really shit for a first blog eh? I didnt have much to write, but i guess il add new ones when i do get better ideas etc.. Oh, i decided i liked the way spaghetti came out the tin the other night.. The simple things amuse me. Haha, and the other day i got that giddy feeling from the coca cola christmas advert with the big lit truck.. I dont know why, but im having a good feeling this year. Hope it doesnt let me down.

Im'a go find something to do in ma' joint

^(oh dear.)^ - im that goofy white kid ;)

Byeeeeee!

x

Oh, theres a little drawing i did on the lunch table for all you lucky people's benefit (what people?!) at the top of the page!