Pyeeooowwww

I guess im beginning to feel more comfortable in myself now, im finally beginning to gain the ability of speaking to new people again. Over the past few days, ive started talking a bit more properly with people, and its filled a void.
I still dont know where im at with the whole 'intimate other half' thing, because i really want some fun, without sounding like a whore, but im not entirely sure what to come of it etc, or where to look. I think in general ive found its better to let these things work themselves in to your life, and not try too hard to make it.
Then i think what if what im really looking for is closer to home? Sometimes i feel like im picking up on signs, and sending them off myself, but its all so fucking complicated. Why can it never just be spelled out for me? My insecurities are bad enough without being taunted by my own thoughts and what i expect to happen!
So ive had another revelation, i hate it when this happens, fuck.
Right, so today was pretty decent, only one lesson, and last day of college before the holidays. I ended up stamping down a quality street tin down to a flat, and playing frisbee with jono. It was a good laugh. Then i had a little piss about with esme, and wiping lolly on her face, made me laugh (:
The bus home was a bombardment of back rubs, and it became apparent that its been absolutely ages since i got a full massage, and theyre lush. I now want one, so im going to find myself a masseuse and get one i think.
Ive done shit all since ive been home today, but ive had a couple of really nice chats. Im optimistic for the holidays now, going up north after christmas, and then over january going to go on a massive wage-blower.
I dont really know what else to write about, but one more thing i guess, big shout out to charlie (yehh, i put it) ;)
Yehh, thats about it me thinks (:
Catch ya later
x