Are a bitch. I had a killer one this morning, blurry vision, felt like a knife was in my head, loss of balance, the lot. :/
Bad times. It called for a lift home and excessive time under the duvet sleeping. I think its bed time soon aswell. Thats the second time ive been caught off guard by a migraine. Ive got meds ready now just incase i get another coming along tomorrow.. I do hope not though. That would suck balls.
I went in to psych, after beth took me to the nurse woman for some tabs, and my lecturer immediately said 'i think youd better go back to be honest' after taking one look at me.. Haha.
My god, i wish there was something i could take strong enough to erase this completely (:
x
Thursday
Wednesday
Knackered
I am officially destroyed. Last night i went to be later than normal, and i only slept for 4 hours before waking up in the early hours of this morning. Needless to say today was EXHAUSTING, and i was wearing shoes too small for me, that didnt keep my feet warm, and hurt them :/
Its 10 to 9 and im already considering bed within the next half an hour if something exciting doesnt happen. Tonight has been a bore, and i had to make my own dinner. However, i love my new phone so it hasnt been too bad. Ive been dowloading new music too (:
On a deeper note, as i so tend to go in that realm of audacity with my emotions, which to be honest i find this blog has allowed me to do.. Its easier to talk to a wall than it is in person, i find it less intimidating. Im more intimidated of emotional attachment than anything physical, and ive been described as 'really intimidating for such a small person' < Lol.
I think lately ive found whats fulfilled me, ive mentioned in previous blogs i found myself unhappy cos i had nothing to look forward to anymore, noone, more to the point. Now ive found someone i can relate to, and have fun with, and share moments with i think im finally on the way to completing myself as a person again. Over the past few days ive noticed a big change in myself, ive been much happier, and people have noticed. (:
I no longer feel i need to redeem myself for the last relationship i had, it ended badly, i felt awful, and i moped for months. It was a big hit to be honest, and i do still think about the memories, which is kind of sad, but i guess i miss the person she was. This isnt in a 'i miss her way', but more of an optimistic view on the fact i have the chance to make new memories, maybe even better ones? I now have the chance to ensure in my own capacity i dont make the same mistakes, i can channel my energy in to making someone else happy, and by being the best i can be. When im alone it doesnt tend to work like that, and i feel when i have that positive influence on me i genuinely am a better person..
I think its time to show it. (:
(I told you id do a proper one, so gulp it down readers :D)
{..If i even have any LOL}
Catch ya ;)
x
Its 10 to 9 and im already considering bed within the next half an hour if something exciting doesnt happen. Tonight has been a bore, and i had to make my own dinner. However, i love my new phone so it hasnt been too bad. Ive been dowloading new music too (:
On a deeper note, as i so tend to go in that realm of audacity with my emotions, which to be honest i find this blog has allowed me to do.. Its easier to talk to a wall than it is in person, i find it less intimidating. Im more intimidated of emotional attachment than anything physical, and ive been described as 'really intimidating for such a small person' < Lol.
I think lately ive found whats fulfilled me, ive mentioned in previous blogs i found myself unhappy cos i had nothing to look forward to anymore, noone, more to the point. Now ive found someone i can relate to, and have fun with, and share moments with i think im finally on the way to completing myself as a person again. Over the past few days ive noticed a big change in myself, ive been much happier, and people have noticed. (:
I no longer feel i need to redeem myself for the last relationship i had, it ended badly, i felt awful, and i moped for months. It was a big hit to be honest, and i do still think about the memories, which is kind of sad, but i guess i miss the person she was. This isnt in a 'i miss her way', but more of an optimistic view on the fact i have the chance to make new memories, maybe even better ones? I now have the chance to ensure in my own capacity i dont make the same mistakes, i can channel my energy in to making someone else happy, and by being the best i can be. When im alone it doesnt tend to work like that, and i feel when i have that positive influence on me i genuinely am a better person..
I think its time to show it. (:
(I told you id do a proper one, so gulp it down readers :D)
{..If i even have any LOL}
Catch ya ;)
x
Tuesday
Today Was Pretty Amazing
I had my first lesson ended, my double lesson cancelled, i played mario at the olympics on the ds, sat with some cool kids for a bit and had a good chat, played lego batman.
Then it only got better
I went to town with my lovveeeelllyyy girlfriend, saw amy kibbles with her friend being attacked by a hair curling man, answered a survey on salon and beauty shit, and apparently the guy (with a hairband?!?!) fancied me.. LOL, went home and dropped off yaz. And then, to top it all off my new phone came through :D
EPICALLY AWESOMELY AMAZING DAY. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
Much love all, il write a proper blog soon
Peace out ;)
x
Then it only got better
I went to town with my lovveeeelllyyy girlfriend, saw amy kibbles with her friend being attacked by a hair curling man, answered a survey on salon and beauty shit, and apparently the guy (with a hairband?!?!) fancied me.. LOL, went home and dropped off yaz. And then, to top it all off my new phone came through :D
EPICALLY AWESOMELY AMAZING DAY. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
Much love all, il write a proper blog soon
Peace out ;)
x
Monday
Clare Carden Go Pack It
I had an awful day. All thanks to my psychology lecturer.
It went a bit like this :
basically
i was really happy this morning
and everyone was like ooo aiden you and yaz eh
and i was smiling and stuff
all jolly etc
then i had psychology
and at the end of the double she made us write down some homework
and i forgot my planner
'aiden write this down'
'sorry, i forgot my planner, il remember it'
'no, write it down in your planner'
i FORGOT my planner
'dont bark at me!
i wasnt barking at you!! i was reitterating what i said cos you diddnt listen the first time
'right, stay behind you and me need to talk'
'agh, whatever.'
so i stayed behind
and she said 'you couldve written it on another piece of paper'
and i said well theres no point me writing down one thing and wasting an entire sheet of paper is there?! i could remember it easily and im going to read the study anyway
and then she started mocking me going 'ooo youre soo poor you cant afford sheets of paper'
so i was like DONT MOCK ME.
and walked out
and she started calling after me
and i carried on walking
and then she was like oh come back
and another teacher tried to make me
so i ignored them both and left
and she sent me a text saying ive got to see her tomorrow before the lesson
and rang my mum etc
and i was like FUCK OFF am i coming back
Ive spoken to my tutor, and asked her to get me moved
cos im not sticking in a class with some obnoxious fucking saggy skinned bitch, who thinks shes some sort of deity and can use her authoritative ability to mock her students cos they cant do anything back
FUCKING BITCH.
ARGH
Thats basically it, it REALLY annoyed me, lucky i got in a gym sesh after college to work out as much of the frustration as possible.
I think my classics teacher thought i was going to kill someone..
Ellie : 'jeez, whats up with you grumpy'
Aiden : 'im in a shit mood.'
Teacher : 'by the looks of it hes trying to focus all of his mental power on not punching someone..'
Ahh. Bad times man. Bad times.
From the summom bonum (highest good), to the worst feeling in the world.
x
It went a bit like this :
basically
i was really happy this morning
and everyone was like ooo aiden you and yaz eh
and i was smiling and stuff
all jolly etc
then i had psychology
and at the end of the double she made us write down some homework
and i forgot my planner
'aiden write this down'
'sorry, i forgot my planner, il remember it'
'no, write it down in your planner'
i FORGOT my planner
'dont bark at me!
i wasnt barking at you!! i was reitterating what i said cos you diddnt listen the first time
'right, stay behind you and me need to talk'
'agh, whatever.'
so i stayed behind
and she said 'you couldve written it on another piece of paper'
and i said well theres no point me writing down one thing and wasting an entire sheet of paper is there?! i could remember it easily and im going to read the study anyway
and then she started mocking me going 'ooo youre soo poor you cant afford sheets of paper'
so i was like DONT MOCK ME.
and walked out
and she started calling after me
and i carried on walking
and then she was like oh come back
and another teacher tried to make me
so i ignored them both and left
and she sent me a text saying ive got to see her tomorrow before the lesson
and rang my mum etc
and i was like FUCK OFF am i coming back
Ive spoken to my tutor, and asked her to get me moved
cos im not sticking in a class with some obnoxious fucking saggy skinned bitch, who thinks shes some sort of deity and can use her authoritative ability to mock her students cos they cant do anything back
FUCKING BITCH.
ARGH
Thats basically it, it REALLY annoyed me, lucky i got in a gym sesh after college to work out as much of the frustration as possible.
I think my classics teacher thought i was going to kill someone..
Ellie : 'jeez, whats up with you grumpy'
Aiden : 'im in a shit mood.'
Teacher : 'by the looks of it hes trying to focus all of his mental power on not punching someone..'
Ahh. Bad times man. Bad times.
From the summom bonum (highest good), to the worst feeling in the world.
x
Sunday
OH. MY. GOD.
MY PHONE HAS PACKED IN. IT USED TO SWITCH ITSELF OFF RANDOMLY, AND NOW IT WONT STOP. ITS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. NOW IM GOING TO HAVE TO FORK OUT FOR A NEW ONE. (even though a new phone would be good) THATS NOW GOING TO BE ANOTHER WASTE OF MY WAGES.
BLOODY HELL.
IM SO ANNOYED.
BLOODY HELL.
IM SO ANNOYED.
Friday
Some people
Are absolute fucking geniuses.
The power of the mind really is incredible, and i dont mean this in a 'steven hawkins'esque way, i mean in everyday things. You underestimate the relativity and ability of some of the smallest problems you are helped to deal with, until you really need it. Some problems are massive, others are a misunderstanding, but ultimately the outcome is amazing. The power just to resolve something, in the most unusual way, the strangest view on things, the road you would never go down.
Im not going to go in to the nicks and nacks of it, so to speak, but i realised today just how different men are to women, and how hard it really is to understand the opposite sex. Sometimes, you need to listen to them, and even if it doesnt make sense it will all work out. Most of the time..
Today, it did. Today has ended better than i couldve expected in the first place when i arose this thought. I want to finish this blog by saying im feeling good within myself, and the final note to be:
(To me, that has more of an effect than words)
You know who you are, no doubt youl read this at some point, but i mean it.
:D
x
The power of the mind really is incredible, and i dont mean this in a 'steven hawkins'esque way, i mean in everyday things. You underestimate the relativity and ability of some of the smallest problems you are helped to deal with, until you really need it. Some problems are massive, others are a misunderstanding, but ultimately the outcome is amazing. The power just to resolve something, in the most unusual way, the strangest view on things, the road you would never go down.
Im not going to go in to the nicks and nacks of it, so to speak, but i realised today just how different men are to women, and how hard it really is to understand the opposite sex. Sometimes, you need to listen to them, and even if it doesnt make sense it will all work out. Most of the time..
Today, it did. Today has ended better than i couldve expected in the first place when i arose this thought. I want to finish this blog by saying im feeling good within myself, and the final note to be:
(To me, that has more of an effect than words) You know who you are, no doubt youl read this at some point, but i mean it.
:D
x
Thursday
I really do hate it.
When my life turns around, i finally let myself like someone and i get kicked in the crotch. It happens every time im stupid enough to let it.
Over the past few days ive been proper happy, and ive got to the 'kissing' stage with someone i like, which is nice because im finally getting comfortable with them. Then she invites me to this party tomorrow night, and asks me to come and stuff, im all up for it, but its somewhere i dont know, and i dont know ANYONE else going, so i said id have to think about it. After a while of asking me to come she eventually says 'tbh, im just worried that ill get too drunk and pull someone when id much rather pull you'.
I know she meant it in the nicest way possible, but its playing on my mind. I need to talk about it, but i dont want to unload myself on someone else, when they really wouldnt want to hear it and id look like a COMPLETE fool. Therefore, i fell back on my blog to get it out. So here are my thoughts:
Basically, if she actually does like me, why not control it? Why bother getting drunk enough that you cant control who you get with? If she actually got with someone that night, and i found out, i can guarantee il end up going straight off her. I cant explain why, but il attempt it. Things have finally got to the point where its going good, i KNOW she likes me cos one of my friends was meant to hint it at me, did an awful job but i knew from other hints i gained off facebook and stuff when i saw it. When i realised this i was proper happy, and i went to town with her, and we kissed before we left. Its going well, and weve been getting on great, so basically, after hearing that, well as she meant it to be, i took it badly (obviously i didnt let on to her), but i cant stand it when someone has no control. Id lose all respect for her and her affection, because it would feel worthless to me =/
I overreact so badly, i hate myself for it. But the way that translated in my mind was 'im going to get really drunk, and if youre not at the party il probably sleep with someone else cos theyl be there and you wont'.
I dont like the thought of that, i dont like opening up, i dont like telling someone i like them, im always so hesitant to do so because i get fucking trampled on in the most antagonistic way. I dont like putting myself out because i hated the way it ended last time i made an effort to get my feelings to someone. I hate being shut down.
I really need someone to talk to about it, i need to hear a sane persons view on the matter, but the reality being that im so hypocritical, i say this and i wouldnt even want to talk about it. Ok, i lie, i would, but id be hesitant. I miss the conversations i used to have with my close girl friends, sat just chatting, have deep conversation and telling them exactly what was on my mind. The problem being, were older now, our friendships have changed, i dont even see them as much as i used to. I never have the chance to have proper conversations with them anymore, and i dont know, i guess i didnt realise before hand, but now i have its just one more kick in the crotch to me.
Im going to go to bed early tonight, because i know il need that extra hour or two to fall asleep, because im going to be pondering this. I hope she doesnt, but at the same time i dont really want to go somewhere and know noone, id feel so out of place. So thats going to be my downfall. I know if im not there, il think about her 'pulling' someone else, even though im not committed to her or anything, it still feels like im having my face rubbed in the dirt.
When i finally let myself like someone, all i can expect after a few days of accepting it, is that im going to be thrown off in the harshest possible way..
Fuck life man. Fuck college, fuck my health, fuck my new years resolution, and most of all fuck women. I want to get high off my tits.
Catch ya.
x
Over the past few days ive been proper happy, and ive got to the 'kissing' stage with someone i like, which is nice because im finally getting comfortable with them. Then she invites me to this party tomorrow night, and asks me to come and stuff, im all up for it, but its somewhere i dont know, and i dont know ANYONE else going, so i said id have to think about it. After a while of asking me to come she eventually says 'tbh, im just worried that ill get too drunk and pull someone when id much rather pull you'.
I know she meant it in the nicest way possible, but its playing on my mind. I need to talk about it, but i dont want to unload myself on someone else, when they really wouldnt want to hear it and id look like a COMPLETE fool. Therefore, i fell back on my blog to get it out. So here are my thoughts:
Basically, if she actually does like me, why not control it? Why bother getting drunk enough that you cant control who you get with? If she actually got with someone that night, and i found out, i can guarantee il end up going straight off her. I cant explain why, but il attempt it. Things have finally got to the point where its going good, i KNOW she likes me cos one of my friends was meant to hint it at me, did an awful job but i knew from other hints i gained off facebook and stuff when i saw it. When i realised this i was proper happy, and i went to town with her, and we kissed before we left. Its going well, and weve been getting on great, so basically, after hearing that, well as she meant it to be, i took it badly (obviously i didnt let on to her), but i cant stand it when someone has no control. Id lose all respect for her and her affection, because it would feel worthless to me =/
I overreact so badly, i hate myself for it. But the way that translated in my mind was 'im going to get really drunk, and if youre not at the party il probably sleep with someone else cos theyl be there and you wont'.
I dont like the thought of that, i dont like opening up, i dont like telling someone i like them, im always so hesitant to do so because i get fucking trampled on in the most antagonistic way. I dont like putting myself out because i hated the way it ended last time i made an effort to get my feelings to someone. I hate being shut down.
I really need someone to talk to about it, i need to hear a sane persons view on the matter, but the reality being that im so hypocritical, i say this and i wouldnt even want to talk about it. Ok, i lie, i would, but id be hesitant. I miss the conversations i used to have with my close girl friends, sat just chatting, have deep conversation and telling them exactly what was on my mind. The problem being, were older now, our friendships have changed, i dont even see them as much as i used to. I never have the chance to have proper conversations with them anymore, and i dont know, i guess i didnt realise before hand, but now i have its just one more kick in the crotch to me.
Im going to go to bed early tonight, because i know il need that extra hour or two to fall asleep, because im going to be pondering this. I hope she doesnt, but at the same time i dont really want to go somewhere and know noone, id feel so out of place. So thats going to be my downfall. I know if im not there, il think about her 'pulling' someone else, even though im not committed to her or anything, it still feels like im having my face rubbed in the dirt.
When i finally let myself like someone, all i can expect after a few days of accepting it, is that im going to be thrown off in the harshest possible way..
Fuck life man. Fuck college, fuck my health, fuck my new years resolution, and most of all fuck women. I want to get high off my tits.
Catch ya.
x
Tuesday
Day = Made
Im not going to lie, my day started off bullshit. My fucking lecturers are bellends, fucking tank evans butch bloke man and saggy skinned hag witch.
Dont speak to me like a fucking retard, i KNOW the difference between an evaluation and a conclusion so fuck off yeh?
Dickhead.
Went to town, and then found out tickets for you me at six were sold out. NOOOOOOOOOO. Fucking shit man :(
BUT OH MY GOD I JUST LOOKED AND THEYRE AVAILABLE ONLINE!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
My day ended amazing, cos as i was about to get on the bus the best possible thing ended my day (:
It was goooooood, and now im all smiley :D
Good times man. Good times.
x
Dont speak to me like a fucking retard, i KNOW the difference between an evaluation and a conclusion so fuck off yeh?
Dickhead.
Went to town, and then found out tickets for you me at six were sold out. NOOOOOOOOOO. Fucking shit man :(
BUT OH MY GOD I JUST LOOKED AND THEYRE AVAILABLE ONLINE!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
My day ended amazing, cos as i was about to get on the bus the best possible thing ended my day (:
It was goooooood, and now im all smiley :D
Good times man. Good times.
x
Saturday
Pow!
So ive had an alright week i guess.
Thursday night was epic, and i suffered friday, but it was still and alright day.
Worst. Hangover. Ever.
My weekend has gone to shit now, ive just been sat around bored today, although the new music is a bit sexy. I hope it gets better. Work tonight ;)
Muller coming in, why thankyou very much. Il just end up wasting it =/
Oh well.
x
Thursday night was epic, and i suffered friday, but it was still and alright day.
Worst. Hangover. Ever.
My weekend has gone to shit now, ive just been sat around bored today, although the new music is a bit sexy. I hope it gets better. Work tonight ;)
Muller coming in, why thankyou very much. Il just end up wasting it =/
Oh well.
x
Monday
(:
I like having something to smile for and look forward to.
Today was good, it made me happy. Apart from slipping all over the place in the stupidly chosen shoes i was wearing, with NO grip. I nearly stacked it a gazillion times like.
As i said, i did enjoy myself today, because ive been made to smile. Good times.
Im shitting it a bit about my exam tomorrow, im going to fail, but im now in the mindset that i can pay for the resit and its happy days.
I just watched a really soppy ending on the tv, where two people finally got together and smiled and kissed etc. It made me cringe, but smile really nicely..
I want that, i hope i can find it (:
Dinners up, so have a good night.
x
Today was good, it made me happy. Apart from slipping all over the place in the stupidly chosen shoes i was wearing, with NO grip. I nearly stacked it a gazillion times like.
As i said, i did enjoy myself today, because ive been made to smile. Good times.
Im shitting it a bit about my exam tomorrow, im going to fail, but im now in the mindset that i can pay for the resit and its happy days.
I just watched a really soppy ending on the tv, where two people finally got together and smiled and kissed etc. It made me cringe, but smile really nicely..
I want that, i hope i can find it (:
Dinners up, so have a good night.
x
Sunday
Back At College Tomorrow
So the spontaneous break is over, and its been said were to attend college again from tomorrow. Shame really, i was hoping id have one more day to ACTUALLY do some revision for my philosophy exam. As it happens ive prbably got about 4 hours in total to actually do some. Which when you think about it isnt a lot?
Agh, im probably going to fail, but its my own stupid fault. Ive had plenty of time for it, just havent actually bothered. Now im worrying, but im still sat here doing nothing rather than work.. Deary me. Not good.
Agh, im probably going to fail, but its my own stupid fault. Ive had plenty of time for it, just havent actually bothered. Now im worrying, but im still sat here doing nothing rather than work.. Deary me. Not good.
Friday
Fucking Grr.
Why is it some people have the urge to be complete cunts (yes, strong, but relevant) to you when all you are is nice. Why?! Just why?
It really pisses me off. Fucking agh. Im in such a shit mood.
Is this really what my life has dissolved in to? We have the most spontaneous 3 and a half days give to us away from college, and toward the end it all funnels in to boredom and anger.
Is my life that shit it has to do this? I have nothing to do, nowhere to go. I cant go cycling because of the ice, noone is out, theres nothing on tv, and my brother is a cunt.
Have i that little ambition in my life that i feel compelled to sit in front of this laptop wasting my life away? Im in this sort of mood : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTnJwcyRQsY&feature=related Argh. I hate being in such a shit mood. But it revolves around me.
I hate these mad depressive feelings. Its been so long since ive got this angry over something so little. But its when theres nothing to do that it amounts in to nothing..
Am i that unreliable in myself that i cant control what happens in my own life? I manage to steer my decisions away from anything i want. I wont revise because im lazy, i wont tell anyone how i feel emotionally because im scared of the outcome, i wont invest my time in anything worthwhile because i dont have the drive to stick at it! Im a fucking failure.
Argh. All i want to do right now is shout.
It really pisses me off. Fucking agh. Im in such a shit mood.
Is this really what my life has dissolved in to? We have the most spontaneous 3 and a half days give to us away from college, and toward the end it all funnels in to boredom and anger.
Is my life that shit it has to do this? I have nothing to do, nowhere to go. I cant go cycling because of the ice, noone is out, theres nothing on tv, and my brother is a cunt.
Have i that little ambition in my life that i feel compelled to sit in front of this laptop wasting my life away? Im in this sort of mood : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTnJwcyRQsY&feature=related Argh. I hate being in such a shit mood. But it revolves around me.
I hate these mad depressive feelings. Its been so long since ive got this angry over something so little. But its when theres nothing to do that it amounts in to nothing..
Am i that unreliable in myself that i cant control what happens in my own life? I manage to steer my decisions away from anything i want. I wont revise because im lazy, i wont tell anyone how i feel emotionally because im scared of the outcome, i wont invest my time in anything worthwhile because i dont have the drive to stick at it! Im a fucking failure.
Argh. All i want to do right now is shout.
Thursday
YESSS. LOVE LOVE SNOW.
Ok, so the heavy snow weve had down in hythe has been quite good, mainly because its got us off college!
Were off tomorrow aswell!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
The first night we had snowball fights, and i stuffed it down abis back, and then she shoved it down the front of my shirt, but i let her for fair play. It froze my nips.
I was rifling the snowballs, pentrated lanhams ass and ballbag.
Agh, i cant be arsed to write, i have too much to say and its unimportant.
Im really happy today, for numerous reasons. But i dont want to get my hopes up for anything, cos life has proved itself to be a right bitch.
I love lie ins!
x
Were off tomorrow aswell!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
The first night we had snowball fights, and i stuffed it down abis back, and then she shoved it down the front of my shirt, but i let her for fair play. It froze my nips.
I was rifling the snowballs, pentrated lanhams ass and ballbag.
Agh, i cant be arsed to write, i have too much to say and its unimportant.Im really happy today, for numerous reasons. But i dont want to get my hopes up for anything, cos life has proved itself to be a right bitch.
I love lie ins!
x
Monday
Mega rant like.
Ok, so as if this morning wasnt fucking shit enough. I went to sleep late last night, and this morning i woke up absolutely shitting freezing. I got up, and closed my window, because i was literally smugging peanuts. It was that cold in my room.
When i crawled back in to bed i was bored, and for some reason REALLY awake, considering this was about 5 in the morning, and on weekends i dont emerge from my room until 11ish..
So im lying there, like what the fuck. I guess i had a lot on my mind, but i wasnt thinking about anything in particular. I whacked on some music from my speakers, and was listening to that, and then i started to feel proper tired again. Bearing in mind by this time it was about 7, and i didnt have to be up until 8 ish.
Once i fell asleep it was about half 7, woke up because of my alarm at 8.15 and cant seem to get up, im proper knackered. Then my hair wont go right (its such a girly thing to say, but it never does the same thing two fucking days). I end up rushing out the door, feeling sick because im that hungry, with one bit of toast.
Im shitting it because ive done like NO work for sport. The only thing that brightened my day at college was being complimented on how i looked (i think theyre blind) and having some good conversation.
I got home and went to finish off my work, then find out its meant to be typed. So if spent god knows how long, like 6-7 hours writing when i didnt fucking need to, to find out it has to be typed and out teacher 'assumed' we would.
WELL IF WEVE GOT TO TYPE IT WHY PRINT OFF THE BOOKLETS YOU FUCKING GOOGLY EYED CUNT?!
God sake, so ive been hammering at my keys, frantically trying to finish this over-ambiguous piece of coursework, and failing at doing so because i really can not be arsed.
Ive given up now, but il finish it tomorrow, and take my laptop in to college. I cant believe theyre such fucking idiots. Its really pissed me off, as im writing this i can feel my shoulders clench really tightly and cramp because its stressed me out. I got a high stress level on some stupid sheet we did in tutor today aswell. We have to look at it next time or something, but i left anyway, its a stupid waste of time.
So now im sat here, with my blanket, cos its lush (Y), and i have so much to write about how my life is working and i can see why etc, revolving inside me is the urge to write it, but i just cant be bothered tonight.
I just wanted to rant.
(:
(8) Up in my lonely room, when im dreaming of you, oh what can i do? I still need you but, i dont want you now.
The Coral - Dreaming of You
Take a listen (Y)
x
When i crawled back in to bed i was bored, and for some reason REALLY awake, considering this was about 5 in the morning, and on weekends i dont emerge from my room until 11ish..
So im lying there, like what the fuck. I guess i had a lot on my mind, but i wasnt thinking about anything in particular. I whacked on some music from my speakers, and was listening to that, and then i started to feel proper tired again. Bearing in mind by this time it was about 7, and i didnt have to be up until 8 ish.
Once i fell asleep it was about half 7, woke up because of my alarm at 8.15 and cant seem to get up, im proper knackered. Then my hair wont go right (its such a girly thing to say, but it never does the same thing two fucking days). I end up rushing out the door, feeling sick because im that hungry, with one bit of toast.
Im shitting it because ive done like NO work for sport. The only thing that brightened my day at college was being complimented on how i looked (i think theyre blind) and having some good conversation.
I got home and went to finish off my work, then find out its meant to be typed. So if spent god knows how long, like 6-7 hours writing when i didnt fucking need to, to find out it has to be typed and out teacher 'assumed' we would.
WELL IF WEVE GOT TO TYPE IT WHY PRINT OFF THE BOOKLETS YOU FUCKING GOOGLY EYED CUNT?!
God sake, so ive been hammering at my keys, frantically trying to finish this over-ambiguous piece of coursework, and failing at doing so because i really can not be arsed.
Ive given up now, but il finish it tomorrow, and take my laptop in to college. I cant believe theyre such fucking idiots. Its really pissed me off, as im writing this i can feel my shoulders clench really tightly and cramp because its stressed me out. I got a high stress level on some stupid sheet we did in tutor today aswell. We have to look at it next time or something, but i left anyway, its a stupid waste of time.
So now im sat here, with my blanket, cos its lush (Y), and i have so much to write about how my life is working and i can see why etc, revolving inside me is the urge to write it, but i just cant be bothered tonight.
I just wanted to rant.
(:
(8) Up in my lonely room, when im dreaming of you, oh what can i do? I still need you but, i dont want you now.
The Coral - Dreaming of You
Take a listen (Y)
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IM SO FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW.
I HATE THE FUCKING PE STAFF.
Im going to fucking rant for ages later. Right now ive got to do this fucking work. :@
Im going to fucking rant for ages later. Right now ive got to do this fucking work. :@
Saturday
Its 2010 baby.
Ok, its been a few dats since i bothered with this, but im going to keep it short because this is coming a bit of a chore rather than me having anything decent to say.
New years eve was a good'un, i enjoyed myself, and had a good laugh.
I really cant be fucked with this, ive given up smoking! Its my new years resolution, and im going to stick to it. Im proud (:
x
New years eve was a good'un, i enjoyed myself, and had a good laugh.
I really cant be fucked with this, ive given up smoking! Its my new years resolution, and im going to stick to it. Im proud (:
x
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