I Guess The World Isn't Quite Over?

Over the past couple of days ive calmed down a bit i guess?
Im still at a dilemma, and i dont really know where im at, but a long chat the other night really seemed to help?
I guess its the small gestures that mean the most sometimes, and you can always tell how great a person is when theyre there and willing to listen to what you have to say, whether it be small or big in quantity.
It was nice.
After that and receiving two quite large compliments yesterday, i kind of decided there is something to go on?
I may have no idea what i want to do, where i want to go, or how i want to live my life; but im pretty sure on the fact that there are decent people out there.
I dont really know what to say, ive had everything draining on my mind over the past two nights, and its been murder on my desires and plans for the future.
I barely slept the night of my last blog, and the same night of the chat. I was knackered, but i just couldnt seem to shake my thoughts and drop to sleep. I lay there for hours considering everything in past, present and future, with no idea what to make of it all.
I found myself wondering how i became who i am, who i will become and yet how i come across to other people..
I think the worst thing for me is never knowing what other people think of me, because there are so many sly comments made about other people i never know what to trust and what to not.
Im still mega tired today, and found myself losing patience with a 'friend'. The problem is, i hate being smothered, i hate having little comments made about me not replying to a text, or not replying to a text 'properly' and it pisses me off. Long story short, i lost my patience and told her where to stick it.
Ugh, shes not my girlfriend, but she acts like a fucking overbearing stalker.
Fuck. Off.
I dont see where that fits in to my blog, but the whole point of this is to put whats on your mind.
Why cant life be simple?
Why cant i just have success where i want it?
Why cant the world be truthful with its opinion of me, and not worry about how il take it?

Theyre the three main questions that keep rallying back and forth in my mind. I wish i could control the factors involved in them. It would help.

Now, im off to kill a fucking fly thats been buzzing round for the past 5/10 minutes.
x

...And just as i say that the cunt flies out..
...And just as i sat that he came back in..
...Long story short, i followed it round my house, he flew in to my bathroom so i shut the door and started swinging my slippers until i hit the fucker.
He deaaaaaddddd. :')
AND NOW ANOTHER ONE COMES IN!!!
What is this?!?!
FUCK OFFFF.
Got the fly killer spray out, he can die slowly. Twat.