So ive just got back from a party, in totton.
Im rather dunk if im honest, adn im not foing to backspace as a to maek a point of this.
I dont even nkow why???
Ah wwell, its all in good fun , im going to wait a while before i go to seplep, but i cant wait to lie in tomorrw..
Ok, i backspaced a bit, but i can tlook like a complete retard now ca i?..
:/
Fuck me, typing makes tou realise it... :|
I ONLY HAVE 3 FAGS LEFT FROM THE 20 I BOUTS THIS MORNING!!!!!
:(
xxxxx
Monday
Saturday
Two Things.
One - This is quite weird, and i found it semi amusing and semi annoying. Basically, i went to be the other night with my fan on, and i woke up with it streaming :L
It wouldnt stop running for aaaaaages, and it was kind of annoying and weird.
Two - I have just been informed, that after waking up early for work, that i am not needed in today.
The reason being for this is that i asked for time off a few weeks ago, to go and see some family i havent seen in about a year or over, which i was denied. I now find out, that she has me covered for this time off, and waited until this morning to tell me. SO NOW I HAVE NO MONEY, AND I DONT GET TO SEE MY FUCKING FAMILY. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT DEBBIE?!
Im so fucking angry right now, i could quite literally kill something or someone. Why the fuck would you do that?!?!
Aghhh :@
I may aswell be her at the moment.
It wouldnt stop running for aaaaaages, and it was kind of annoying and weird.
Two - I have just been informed, that after waking up early for work, that i am not needed in today.
The reason being for this is that i asked for time off a few weeks ago, to go and see some family i havent seen in about a year or over, which i was denied. I now find out, that she has me covered for this time off, and waited until this morning to tell me. SO NOW I HAVE NO MONEY, AND I DONT GET TO SEE MY FUCKING FAMILY. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT DEBBIE?!
Im so fucking angry right now, i could quite literally kill something or someone. Why the fuck would you do that?!?!
I may aswell be her at the moment.
Thursday
Alrighhtyyy
Ok, so i FINALLY actually shifted my arse and got out on the racer again today.
I forgot how much i missed. It seems when i do exercise i think about everything logically, and clear my mind of any troubles.
Today was an epic fail on revision, i got my mum to ask me questions, and realised just how much id forgotten of it. Its a massive spec aswell so i really dont know what to make of this exam..
Anyhoo, so when youre out on the bike, you feel amazing.
The tight clothes make me feel slightly weird, but when youre cycling through all the forest roads, and pushing yur limits it feels so good. You feel accomplished at the end when youre knackered.
I dont know what id do instead if my dad hadnt got me in to it.
I went out yesterday and got a new helmet, and today pushed myself to go out, i was being all lethargic, and i definitely feel better for it.
Its really sociable aswell, because every other cyclist on their bike will wave or nod as you pass, and it just gives you a certain sense of uniformity. I felt like i belonged in a weird sense.
This may not make sense to a lot of people, but i guess you just have to experience it. (:
I need some bigger cycling shoes though.. Stupid clown feet.
x
I forgot how much i missed. It seems when i do exercise i think about everything logically, and clear my mind of any troubles.
Today was an epic fail on revision, i got my mum to ask me questions, and realised just how much id forgotten of it. Its a massive spec aswell so i really dont know what to make of this exam..
Anyhoo, so when youre out on the bike, you feel amazing.
The tight clothes make me feel slightly weird, but when youre cycling through all the forest roads, and pushing yur limits it feels so good. You feel accomplished at the end when youre knackered.
I dont know what id do instead if my dad hadnt got me in to it.
I went out yesterday and got a new helmet, and today pushed myself to go out, i was being all lethargic, and i definitely feel better for it.
Its really sociable aswell, because every other cyclist on their bike will wave or nod as you pass, and it just gives you a certain sense of uniformity. I felt like i belonged in a weird sense.
This may not make sense to a lot of people, but i guess you just have to experience it. (:
I need some bigger cycling shoes though.. Stupid clown feet.
x
Wednesday
Ahhhh (:
Last night was pretty epic.
I went up a mates, long story short we ended up getting baked. It was lush.
Thats the most baked ive ever been, and it was such a weird/amazing feeling.
Riding home was a mission, and i appreciated everything around me, the sound of the bike wheel was all i could hear, i dont remember the ride home, i kept coming in and out of reality with no idea where i was.
It was so hard to not fall off, and i remember coming down a hill proper fast, and shitting it cos i nearly rode in to my mate.
When i got home i kept drifting in and out of conscious thought, having hallucinations of weird things, multi colours flashing across my room. My god, it was amazing.
I ended up in different spots of my house, looking around, focusing and wondering where the hell i was.
Thats one of the things ive needed for a while.
Wow.
The fag the morning after shoots whats left of the THC round your bloodstream aswell, so it continues a little longer.
Im tired, but in a good mood (:
Haircut today.
x
I went up a mates, long story short we ended up getting baked. It was lush.
Thats the most baked ive ever been, and it was such a weird/amazing feeling.
Riding home was a mission, and i appreciated everything around me, the sound of the bike wheel was all i could hear, i dont remember the ride home, i kept coming in and out of reality with no idea where i was.
It was so hard to not fall off, and i remember coming down a hill proper fast, and shitting it cos i nearly rode in to my mate.
When i got home i kept drifting in and out of conscious thought, having hallucinations of weird things, multi colours flashing across my room. My god, it was amazing.
I ended up in different spots of my house, looking around, focusing and wondering where the hell i was.
Thats one of the things ive needed for a while.
Wow.
The fag the morning after shoots whats left of the THC round your bloodstream aswell, so it continues a little longer.
Im tired, but in a good mood (:
Haircut today.
x
Tuesday
Monday
So Apparently Nude Sun Bathing Pictures Arent Allowed On Facebook..?
LOL
Saturday was a laugh, other than work i went to the beach, sun bathed naked, and had a good laugh.
We had the barbecues going and im now looking forward to the summer, it should be quite good.
Watched the football at Byng's saturday night, and didnt do much else.
On sunday i continued with the burning, and last night was mayhem trying to sleep.
I want it to hurry up and turn brown, because its fucking killing me.
College today for a revision lesson, and a bit more revision for philosophy me thinks.
Got two exams tomorrow and i cant be arsed, i guess its good to get them out the way though?
Its 17 days until IOW, and im really starting to get excited now, a weekend relaxing, with a good group of friends. To be honest the social side is more the bonus for me, the festival itself will be good, but im stoked for just camping out and having a laugh.
(8) This is what i want, this is what i need, this is exactly what, ive been waiting for (8)
^ That song started playing as i wrote this blog, and just finished as i ended it. I think thats pretty coincidental eh?
Anyway, il stop boring you (:
Im off
x
Saturday was a laugh, other than work i went to the beach, sun bathed naked, and had a good laugh.
We had the barbecues going and im now looking forward to the summer, it should be quite good.
Watched the football at Byng's saturday night, and didnt do much else.
On sunday i continued with the burning, and last night was mayhem trying to sleep.
I want it to hurry up and turn brown, because its fucking killing me.
College today for a revision lesson, and a bit more revision for philosophy me thinks.
Got two exams tomorrow and i cant be arsed, i guess its good to get them out the way though?
Its 17 days until IOW, and im really starting to get excited now, a weekend relaxing, with a good group of friends. To be honest the social side is more the bonus for me, the festival itself will be good, but im stoked for just camping out and having a laugh.
(8) This is what i want, this is what i need, this is exactly what, ive been waiting for (8)
^ That song started playing as i wrote this blog, and just finished as i ended it. I think thats pretty coincidental eh?
Anyway, il stop boring you (:
Im off
x
Wednesday
I Know What It Is.
Its just struck me, the reason im so scared of relationships is because i dont like hurting the other person with the break up, and i dont like getting attached to people and losing them.
Its stupid i know, but it just feels awful when it happens.
Not for a long time (:
I like to be free, that way if i get hurt by something i can hide it, and lock it away.
My mind really is stupidly complex, my introspective (new word of the vocabulary..) thoughts just seem to contradict each other to the extent it drives me insane over stupid things.
If i like someone i never know what to do with myself, whether to go for it, or back down.
I like hitting on random people because its 50/50 and im not attached. Simple.
I had my first exam today, and as of tomorrow im revising like a demon.
I havent got much more to say, so bye for now, its bed time.
x
Its stupid i know, but it just feels awful when it happens.
Not for a long time (:
I like to be free, that way if i get hurt by something i can hide it, and lock it away.
My mind really is stupidly complex, my introspective (new word of the vocabulary..) thoughts just seem to contradict each other to the extent it drives me insane over stupid things.
If i like someone i never know what to do with myself, whether to go for it, or back down.
I like hitting on random people because its 50/50 and im not attached. Simple.
I had my first exam today, and as of tomorrow im revising like a demon.
I havent got much more to say, so bye for now, its bed time.
x
Saturday
Stupid Mind.
Ive been thinking again, yes, i know, its dangerous..
Ive been at work pretty much all day today, its been shit, and im fecking tired.
Im beginning to think i shouldnt say whats on my mind to people?
It just leaves for awkwardness, so i think from now on im going to be less open with it, and dumb down the crazy thoughts and stop saying whatever im thinking (:
That is all, im off to bed soon (Y)
x
Tuesday
I Dont Know What The Title Is..?
I just felt like saying ive really began to enjoy freedom, ive re-opened the door to quite a few connections i lost before, a) with the general group of lads, b) with my confidence and c) with a few individuals.
Its good, and im happy.
Ive put on 6lbs in weight aswell!! This may not mean much to you, but to me it means the world, it means im getting bigger, and considering i havent grown much in height i can safely say thats 6lbs of muscle, the gym is working and im on the way to the body i need/want to any of you critics who might say i dont 'need' it.. (:
(who am i kidding, barely anyone reads this)
Also, to put that in perspective, 6lbs in the past few months, after spending about 5 years at exactly 9 stone :/
That clinically classes me as anorexic on the BMI, but now im getting heavier.
I fucking love it.
Anddd, this evening i saw a baby heron, and then watched it be rescued by some guy, it was really quite amazing to see it done.. Sounds stupid, but i guess its the little things eh?
Bring on the rest of the week :)
Much love
x
Its good, and im happy.
Ive put on 6lbs in weight aswell!! This may not mean much to you, but to me it means the world, it means im getting bigger, and considering i havent grown much in height i can safely say thats 6lbs of muscle, the gym is working and im on the way to the body i need/want to any of you critics who might say i dont 'need' it.. (:
(who am i kidding, barely anyone reads this)
Also, to put that in perspective, 6lbs in the past few months, after spending about 5 years at exactly 9 stone :/
That clinically classes me as anorexic on the BMI, but now im getting heavier.
I fucking love it.
Anddd, this evening i saw a baby heron, and then watched it be rescued by some guy, it was really quite amazing to see it done.. Sounds stupid, but i guess its the little things eh?
Bring on the rest of the week :)
Much love
x
Friday
New Phase
So its over, much to my disappointment. I didnt want it to end but i guess sometimes you cant help it?
What could i do other than tell her i didnt feel the same?
It would be unfair to drag it out..
I guess i feel bad about the way it happened, and she didnt help, but this is the start of another era in my life.
Im back to the stage where i just want to chill out, think about myself and have some fun.
I dont want anything serious, but i dont want to be cut off from all female contact.. :/
Im not sure where im at now to be honest, i fancy a fling, but i dont want to lead anyone on.. Aha, that sounds bad.
Anyhoo, on to a lighter mood.
Im pretty tired, but i dont mind, i had a relatively good day today, apart from pulling a tendon in my armpit :L
I dont even know how i managed it.. But its pretty painful.
And then i got a backrub on the way home from fiona which was pretty lush.
Last night was quite good too, chatted to a friend i lost contact with for a while, it was a weird conversation though, too many misthought ideas, that came off wrong :L
Hopefully in a week or so the guilt will disappear and i can really enjoy myself.
(:
x
What could i do other than tell her i didnt feel the same?
It would be unfair to drag it out..
I guess i feel bad about the way it happened, and she didnt help, but this is the start of another era in my life.
Im back to the stage where i just want to chill out, think about myself and have some fun.
I dont want anything serious, but i dont want to be cut off from all female contact.. :/
Im not sure where im at now to be honest, i fancy a fling, but i dont want to lead anyone on.. Aha, that sounds bad.
Anyhoo, on to a lighter mood.
Im pretty tired, but i dont mind, i had a relatively good day today, apart from pulling a tendon in my armpit :L
I dont even know how i managed it.. But its pretty painful.
And then i got a backrub on the way home from fiona which was pretty lush.
Last night was quite good too, chatted to a friend i lost contact with for a while, it was a weird conversation though, too many misthought ideas, that came off wrong :L
Hopefully in a week or so the guilt will disappear and i can really enjoy myself.
(:
x
Wednesday
Ive Been Thinking Too Much
I dont know how its happened, but im at a dilemma, and i dont know what to do.
I need to get advice, but i need the right person to ask, i cant decide what i want, either way i want a result of some sort, i cant carry on like this..
I guess i need to talk to decide what to do :/
I hate being in this situation. Fuck.
I need to get advice, but i need the right person to ask, i cant decide what i want, either way i want a result of some sort, i cant carry on like this..
I guess i need to talk to decide what to do :/
I hate being in this situation. Fuck.
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